So I heard all about it on Highveld 94.7 this morning and during the course of today and decided to download The Lobola Calculator, from my play store.

The App that’s currently taking SA by storm was designed by Kopo Robert Matsaneng and is a fun, tongue in cheek take on the Zulu Lobola tradition to work out your monetary worth to your future husband. Culture declares that a woman’s worth is worked out according to various stats and this translates in to the amount of cows, or in this day and age, money, that her future husband has to pay her father to marry her.

So first you pick your sex and then enter vital stats such as weight, height, age, etc and I was somewhat amused to notice that the word ‘weight’ was spelt incorrectly. Only in South Africa would an app go out for public consumption, complete with spelling errors)

You then select your hotness on a scale of ‘Not at all’ through average to ‘Really Hot’, and the next screen asks what qualification you have and whether you are currently employed.

Last but not least, it asks if you divorced and do you have any children.

As an average looking, divorced, but no kids, 37 year old with a pants size of 10, I am apparently worth 6 real life cows (which are denoted with really cute little cow pictures by the way), or in monetary terms R 50 500.

The maximum achievable is 12 cows, and this is only for daughters of Tribal Chiefs, so everyone else should aspire to an 11, I am told.  I am assuming that this 11 score is reserved for really hot 21-year-olds that wear a size six trousers, but it was still a good laugh none-the-less. My future hubby better start saving now 😉

Google Lobola Calculator or download it from your Play Store and enjoy!


Leave a Comment