All hail the phenomenon known as “The Cougar”. For those who don’t know what that is besides a fierce, furry, feline – it is an older woman who enjoys dating younger men – usually at least eight years younger than herself.

Famous cougars include Demi Moore, who dated Ashton Kutcher with a sixteen year age gap between them and Mariah Carey, who married Nick Cannon, ten years her junior, for just over six years. Madonna, Sandra Bullock, Cameron Diaz and other celebs add to the growing list of older women in search of the hot, sexy, younger man. Think Mrs Robinson in the famous 1960’s film The Graduate – she paved the way for us.

Demi and Ashton 1  timberlake_3082084k

So why the younger man? As a pretty much confirmed cougar, I can attest to the fact that most older women who date younger men are pretty secure with who they are. They are usually divorced, often with a fair sum of money from the divorce, or are well established in business and enjoy exerting their power in the boardroom … as well as the bedroom.

I make my own money, so don’t need a man to provide that for me. After a long day of meetings, negotiating with clients, keeping my team in place and making sure my company runs like clockwork, I can’t wait to let my hair down and have some fun. I do not yearn for marriage and babies, and rushing to be home at 5pm to cook dinner for my husband, wash the dishes and watch TV together sounds like Chinese torture.

My life is busy, and I am in the events industry, so I am constantly out and about, and love the company of someone younger to do fun things with me. I tend to date guys 5 to 10 years younger than myself. I love their sexy bodies, fun attitudes and lack of emotional baggage. They live life to the full, yes I know they have fewer responsibilities than me, and I guess in a way that is the attraction.

I am not shy about admitting this or being seen in public with my younger lover – much to the embarrassment of my friends. I get constant urging from my close friends to settle down, look for someone older and start a family. Yes, yes all in good time. Some may point out that I am getting old, am I not worried about that? No, not really.

Mariah and Nick  1357158087_stretch

The younger men I date are intrigued. They find my lack of reservation appealing, I do not fluster or get scared. I do not dither. I see the prize, and I take it. I know what I want which can be very attractive to men who are used to dating girls their age which comes with drama and games. The Cougar doesn’t play games, besides ones in the bedroom.

Not all Cougars are just after the sexual side of things though, many want relationships too – and striking the balance is a fine art – one that I am still learning. There are younger men out there that are mature and wanting to find someone adult enough to manage the pressures of life and a relationship with aplomb, not drama and tears.

So onwards we go – I am Cougar, hear me roar 😉

Please remember this blog is an opinion piece. We all have our opinions, and this is mine. You may feel strongly otherwise. That’s great, and please do feel free to comment. However, slander and abusive language are not cool. Ever.


Dewald January 20, 2015 at 3:41 pm

Okay okay I will add my 2 cents…. First of all I have dated my fair share of younger and older woman but I prefer older woman : Older woman are much more sophisticated, they look after themselves, they know what they want in life and the definitely have the sexual experience. Secondly they have adult problems, not childish shit to worry about, if I work late nights at a stressful job the last thing I want when coming home is someone hammering on where I was and being insecure. Older woman are not as needy as younger woman. Somehow they intrigue me where younger woman irritate me… Last point : there is nothing like an older woman who is dressed for success and knows it, there is an aura around her and that is seriously sexy…

    heatherhook January 20, 2015 at 3:44 pm

    Thanks so much for your feedback Dewald, glad you enjoyed the article. I suspect there may be more than a few guys around that will agree with you 😉

Leave a Comment